Coaching other women has taught me a VERY important lesson. Authenticity and vulnerability are better ways to influence than just celebration. Don’t get me wrong, I love to cheer someone on when they’ve had success. All the celebrations are important, big or small.

But the fails and struggles are important too.

To influence someone to want to make change or release something they are holding onto takes vulnerability, validity, and authenticity.

I had an opportunity to reconnect with an old friend and release some judgement. I was extremely nervous and was trying to find every excuse in the book to cancel our meeting. Circumstances surrounding the void in our friendship over the past year were going to make this hard for me. I had built up this story in my mind about the house she lives in, the attitude I was going to walk into, and the confrontation that I felt was buried. I had all kinds of judgements about myself, her, and her situation flying off the handle.

I am SO very grateful that I used my tools to push past those judgements and walked through her door. As soon as we put our arms around each other there was an emotional overload. There still is even as I write this down. You see, there was a time when she and I were close, very close. We did all kinds of things together, shared our secrets, and were always honest even when the other person may not have wanted to hear it. I could count on her and she could count on me. All of that past friendship came rushing to the surface and that hug hurt. It was long over due. It was also very healing.

During the really difficult times in her life, I pulled away from our friendship as our paths took different roads. Through this time I passed judgement on some of the actions that happened, but I was always authentic, as was she. I never said I agreed with what she was doing but I always said she was doing what she had the power to do. I would always support her even if it was something I wouldn’t have done.

But in a way some of those things I wish I would have done. We share some similarities in our life chapters. We both have some skeletons that have been hidden deep down in our closets, things we don’t share with anyone or even each other. But I could validate where she was and what was happening because I had been in her shoes once before.

What I had set up in my mind as a confrontational and uncomfortable get together became a reconnection with an old friend. The person that I spent my time with was my old friend. There was part of our conversation about someone not being themselves, almost as if being possessed. I believe that in a way, she had been possessed as well. There was a different woman writing her life chapters and I wasn’t a big fan of her work. But even through it all, she remained strong and outspoken. She may not have been vulnerable but she was always truthful. The person I sat down with was no longer possessed. She no longer carried the burdens of those skeletons. She was back to her old self and I had missed that person deeply.

When you think of a person in a situation that doesn’t sit right with you, where you begin to judge their actions or reactions…STOP. If you truly aren’t involved in someone’s life chapter, you aren’t reading the same book and you have no right to judge that book by it’s cover. That person’s way of being vulnerable or reaching out for relief may not be the way you would handle life but it’s not your life to handle. You have your own book to write. Don’t write someone else’s.

If you want to learn more about how to release judgement, live authentically without worrying about being judged, and want to be vulnerable in a safe space to connect with other women to seek help in working through a chapter of your book, I invite you to come to the Releasing the Fear of Judgement workshop this afternoon.

I have worked with Radiant Life Unlimited for quite some time. If I hadn’t been able to pull out the tools I have been given from my life coach, my meeting with my old friend would have never happened. I would have missed out on reconnecting. I would have missed out on the healing process. I would have continued to live with the questions of judgement. Don’t waste anymore time judging others or feeling judged by others. Join us this afternoon. Get some tools to help you release the fear of judgement.

One Comment on “Vulnerability

  1. I had taken the Strengths Finder assessment a while ago but never did anything with it. One day when Val and I were talking about challenges with our business she brought up the Strengths Finders and all she had done with it. She offered to do a deep dive on my assessment and she really opened my eyes!!!! The next class taught went really well, I was so comfortable and I ended with several enrollments.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: