lose your fear

I’ve been working on changing my mindset around fear. Some say fear is just a lie, it’s a way to keep you from your dreams and goals. But fear is actually a safety mechanism that we have from birth. Fear is a way to proceed with caution, to look at the details of a situation or scenario and see if there’s anything harmful that will come from actions or non-actions.

Most of my fears are insecurities coming back to the surface. I have a fear of not knowing enough or getting a conflicting answer to a question that I think I know the answer to. I will begin to hesitate, to backtrack, and to avoid conflict or confrontation I will just agree with someone. Usually this agreement is based solely on a person’s social status because I always want to fit in with the “cool kids”.

This fear is one way that holds me back from volunteering my time in our community. Most of the organizations are lead by the “popular kids” in the community so I’m already hesitant to join. I’m always afraid my ideas or suggestions will be dismissed, or worse, mocked. It’s amazing how our pre-teen years can still effect our adult lives. But that’s another journal entry all in itself.

In reality, my fear of the “cool kids” is ridiculous. This fear causes hesitation, which hinders my business and my social life. I am very good at organizing fundraisers, volunteering my time, and coming up with creative ways to run things. I have planned several successful fundraisers in my past. I ran the Chamber of Commerce in my hometown for about 3 years. I organized all kinds of events and volunteered my time everywhere.

When I am creating and thinking of new ideas, I am at the top of my game. These are my driving forces. If I don’t have something different or creative going on, I will lose my momentum and fade away. If I have new ideas, new projects, or new ways of doing the same old same old, I am thriving! I don’t hesitate or wait for anyone’s approval.

When I look at fear surrounding my need to be accepted, I have to keep in mind that if I volunteer to help out with one of the kids’ programs, no one is going to die. If I suggest a quicker way of tracking a fundraiser, no one is going to get hurt. These fears are not warning me of injury. These fears are causing me to hesitate and be in-authentic and awkward.

Reserve fear for life or death scenarios, physical or mental dangers; not for creativity and authenticity. Let fear guide you, but don’t let it take the wheel and steer you away from your goals. Acknowledge your fear, recognize where it comes from, and move forward.

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