No one to blame

I’ve been letting something fester for about two weeks now. I’ve tried getting my head wrapped around it and I’ve been wasting a lot of energy. I can’t figure out what I’ve done wrong, who has gotten annoyed with me, or why I’m being ignored or not included.

I was up all night last night thinking about it. By no coincidence did this quote pop up in my journal this morning.

My constant worry is about everyone else’s perception of what I’m doing. This causes me to hesitate in my own momentum. For some reason I feel that if I’m not involved in everything or don’t know everything about everything, I won’t succeed. This morning, and especially last night, I kept thinking about what I’m going to do, who I’m going to talk to, and how I was going to stay involved. Again, wasted energy.

There are two things that need to be done. First is to recognize that those who are supposed to be leading, influencing, or mentoring me might not truly be the people to do it. My personality and my strengths don’t mesh well with competition, judgement, or duplication. Just because my pace may be slower than others doesn’t mean my desire and drive aren’t very high. And it doesn’t mean I don’t need guidance.

The other thing is that despite my feelings of being left behind or ignored, the ultimate person to blame for the hesitation isn’t anyone else, it’s me. I am the only person who has the power to move forward and if it means doing it alone, then I take on that responsibility. If it means finding guidance somewhere else, then I start looking. Taking the responsibility of my own actions and reactions, and not someone else’s, will bring me back to my momentum and my success.

While it’s not easy to come to the realization that the blame can be set upon you solely, it is easier to come to the realization that you have the power to make those blames go away and create the momentum you want or the success you want.

Here’s where the mindset needs to shift. Who needs to take responsibility for making change? Who do I “blame” for my success? ME!

Blame is one of those words that instantly has a negative ring to it. But when you change your mindset, blame can be a positive word.

Don’t blame your computer for not finishing up that article you were writing. Get your pen and paper and finish it the old fashion way. Take the responsibility to get it done and reward yourself when you mark it off your list. Don’t blame your kids or husband for those last two loads of laundry that haven’t gotten done. Take the responsibility to get them done. Set a timer and swap them over from washer to dryer while accomplishing other tasks. Then you get the reward of a clean laundry room. Don’t blame yourself for not being the same as someone else, skinny, healthy, fit, smart, beautiful, successful… Do everything your way. Be authentic. Feel empowered. Reward yourself for the unique qualities you have. You are skinny, healthy, fit, smart, beautiful, and successful in YOUR own way.

Stop blaming others. Place the blame on yourself. Look inward to what it is you’re focusing blame on. Make a plan. Take action. Reap the rewards.

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